Monday, May 14, 2012

I want to give up....

Tonight we did our C25k week 2 day 1.  I have never wanted to quit so badly as I did tonight. It sucked. I am slower than I was the last time I completed this program. I have more aches and more pains and just more fat to carry around.

I know I can't give up. I won't give up this time either. But today as I was running I started to think about all the reasons I wanted to lose weight.... and let's be honest they are the most important things in my life.

  1. Justin - he deserves a healthy wife and someone who can do physical activity - we deserve health and happiness together
  2. My own health - I want a long and happy life
  3. For my family - they want me happy and healthy
  4. And for our kids. I want kids. I can't wait to embark on parenthood with Justin but I refuse to do it until I lose a lot of weight and become healthier - sidenote, it will be over a year before we even think of trying but it will take me over a year to be healthy!
I am struggling right now with the willpower to keep going. And if it wasn't for Justin tonight, I would have been all caught up on Real Housewives.... 

I know this feeling of giving up will pass, and in a few more runs I will have my enthusiasm back - I do have to admit, I feel great after tonight's run and I know that I want to keep doing this. I want healthy more than I want to quit! 

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